Honoring Veterans

Time changes lots of things.  It heals wounds, changes perceptions, allows for people to grow, learn, and forgive.  How we honor our veterans has changed depending on the times in which we live, but also how are veterans see themselves as well

When my grandfather passed away, we knew he had been in WWII, had driven trunks and tanks in northern Africa and in Italy. They made it all the way to Germany before they got to come home. My grandfather served proudly and earned a bronze star which he did not keep at all. He served his country and protected the innocent but didn't believe he should earn a medal for doing his duty. He did what was right and just, but did not celebrate in the fact that war was necessary. All he wanted was a simple life for himself, my grandmother to whom he was married for 50 plus years and his 3 kids.

Now we get to my father, and his experiences with war and his return to our country. Less than 30 years after WWII and just having reached an armistice with North Korea less than 10 years before, we entered the war in Vietnam.  My dad joined the Air Force as a combat medic and was there for most of the major fighting in Vietnam. Now, having been lucky enough to survive the sheer horrors of war, he returned to a country that hated and spouted anger towards him for surviving things we wouldn't wish on out worst enemies. Now mostly this is due to the media making this the first war with live coverage and not just promotional reels to promote the war effort. My dad was run off an university campus and called a child killer. For those who knew my dad, you know he was the furthest thing from the monster these people tried to make him out to be at that time.

So remember our veterans, each and everyday. I've heard from men who have lived through the battles. I've seen the struggles they go through when they get home to adjust to life after the battle. They continue that battle everyday, some feel guilty for the loves they were forced to take, some feel guilty for surviving when others didnt, and some...well that battle is in their heads and they can't escape. They need our help and understanding and support. So be there for them and the families that wait for their return home. Honor the men and women who gave the last full measure of devotion to freedom and justice  

https://youtu.be/DWrMeBR8W-c

Understanding Choices

Choices...We all face them everyday.  Some are mundane and we don't really think about them anymore, like what clothes to wear, food to eat, things we post on social media, etc.  Other choices we spend too much time thinking about and then never take any action to start or complete our goals or dreams.  We need to balance our choices better.  We need to understand why we make these choices and then act upon the choices we make, and be ready to accept the consequences if those choices turn out to be wrong in the future.


To give you an example of both the best choice and the worst choice I have made in my life at this time.  I know that my worst choice will shock and surprise most of the people that know me because it was out of character for me to have done it and while I do wish I had never allowed myself to make that decision. 


So the worst decision I've ever allowed myself to make was last April when I almost committed suicide.  Now I know that is hard to hear and there is no excuse for it, but let me try to explain the whole situation.   First off, I was in a bad place in several aspects of my life.  I blame no one but myself.  I didn't reach out to let people know I was hurting and tried to carry the load myself.  Guess what....IT DOESN'T WORK.  We all need each other.  So reach out, ask for help.  Trust me that its better than the alternative. I can tell that I know that when I reached all I could take mentally, I went into like a thick fog where I knew what was going on, but there was no emotion, no thought, no ability to escape it.  It was like the fog was a physical manifestation of melancholy.  I saw no happiness in sight.  But for the grace of God, I would not be here today.  Now you may not believe, and that is your choice, but after seeing the look on the doctors faces, that I was minutes from death and I believe with all my heart I am here because God has bigger plans for me.  I am thankful for everyday I have, for every second I get to enjoy my children, and every moment of life both joy and sorrow.


The best decision I have ever made in my life was to love and be in live with my ex-wife, Brandi.  I am grateful for the years we had together and that she and I, while we may not be in love, we do love and care for each other and are grateful for each other because we have 3 wonderful kids together.  They brighten my day and strengthen my resolve to be a force for positive changes in this world.  I will never be a saint, and I make mistakes, but this part of my life was not a mistake and I am grateful everyday for the years we spent together both good and troubled.


The most important thing to remember is that choices are only up to YOU...Only you can make the choice and only you can choice how to react to the things that happen around you.  If you don't like something, then CHOOSE to be the CHANGE, not whine and complain, as that accomplishes nothing.  The world has never been changed because someone whined and complained enough.  Someone CHOSE to make a plan and ACT on it.  So BE THE CHANGE you want to see in this world.


Here is a clip of one of my favorite movie quotes of all time...ok its more like a short speech.
 
https://youtu.be/jdWO9ozir1Y

Renew

Its 2016 and while I am a month plus behind, there is still time in the year that you can still make 2016 a new direction in your life, to change your story, to change your children's story, your partner's story, and take your life to a whole new level.

How?  That is a question I have struggled with, frustrated over, haggled over, become burnt out with and had to start over so many times I have lost count.  How do I change the situation that I have found myself in, change my dead end job, fix my broken relationship with my spouse, family, friend?  HOW do I change my story?

Well, first off, WRITE IT ALL DOWN!!!!!!  I am horrible about this and I struggle with this constantly, it is probably my biggest weakness.  The reason for writing down what you want to change is the help hold yourself accountable, and to also allow you to share with others so they can help encourage you along the way.  Write down what you want to change and WHY you want to change that aspect of your life. WHY is important!!!

Secondly, make sure your changes are for the POSITIVE and that is BOTH REALISTIC and ACCOUNTABLE.   Positive changes are ones that you are more likely to sacrifice for and work harder to achieve.  A realistic goal on a realistic timetable will allow you to set small goals to help you reach allow the way to allow you to measure your progress along the way.  A goal that you can measure and see the small changes allows you and others to hold yourself accountable to help maintain you towards your main goal.

An example for me is that I am trying to lose 100 lbs this year.  Given the fact that I am starting about 6 weeks late, that leaves me 46 weeks to lose the weight before next year.  So breaking it down, I need to lose, on average 2.5 lbs per week for the rest of the year.  I say on average, because everyone stumbles along the way, and everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, has a bad day every once in a while.  Life happens, no life is perfect. Do not think that one mistake, one bad day, one setback is the end of the world.

Lastly, I follow Zig Ziglar's wheel of goal setting because when you change your story or life, there are 7 aspects, or pieces of a pie, or spokes on a wheel that affect your life.  If you focus too much on one spoke or aspect, you end up with a flat tire because you neglect other parts of your life.  For example, if you focus too much on work, your family and friends suffer.  Too much focus on physical goals might cause you to sacrifice your educational or emotional parts of your life.  A balance between all the aspects with small bursts of focus in one area is best for achieving long term goals.

So, I am going to start blogging more and answering questions on my viewpoint on world events, life aspects, and how I am learning to better the world around me.  I will reply to questions ask of me and share my story along the way.